Torn

July 26, 2013. Friday. 9 P.M. I have many analysis to do with my studies yet my emotion keeps butting in. Now, I am kind of torn in between. I am falling for Steve, yet I find myself protective from pain. I have already collected myself back together from my previous relationship and I don’t want to break myself into pieces just like that ever again. I don’t want to take the same risk and get the same result. I know it’s a different guy, absolutely different. Steve is expressive which I like the most, among his many qualities I like about. It tears me that I cannot give myself fully to him. I am afraid I will hurt myself, he will hurt himself and we will hurt each other eventually. We live miles away but I don’t want to stop the kind of relationship we have. I find our relationship… exceptional, not because we just knew each other and everything is exciting like how every relationship started coz I still believe that… it’s not about how much love you have but how much love you built for the relationship to last. You see, we complement each other in ways I truly enjoy more than what I had with my ex. My ex is totally out of my page. Occasionally, the thought of him and us crosses my head but it’s more like a passing thought. Now that I am falling for Steve, it is Steve and Steve I constantly think about. I want to tell him that I have a proposal to make… Since we both like each other, constantly flirt with each other, then maybe we can try building a real relationship. Maybe I am too optimistic or presumptuous but I need someone like him around and I am positive that he won’t have troubles with me. I don’t know how will we succeed in terms of being together but I think we all gamble every now and again. Life is gamble sometimes. Sometimes we win and sometimes we loss. I hope the next time I gamble my heart though, it will be a win. Sigh… it takes two people to win! Shall I present my proposal now? That’s what MBA’s do anyway. Gosh, will I pass or fail? I won’t know if I won’t try! Oh Daisy, Daisy, Daisy… you are such a hopeless romantic! Now I feel I should be in literature writing love quotes and poems and not in business. I have troubles mixing the two. I always find myself extreme in each of them, separately – one after the other and vice versa. Most often in life, it demands both at the same time to come up with a better solution. Gosh, I have to learn managing both my heart and mind……. Ah! I guess I know what I’d do now! It is always worth it to blog. If you got pair of lips blogspot, I could have given you smooches! Haha Muah! ^__^.