Our background and circumstances may influence who we are, but we are responsible for who we become. We may screw up making choices but life is not about it, it is what steps we take to rectify them.

A NOTE TO SELF: Be calm. Seek your center, that's where your strength is. Breathe. When you inhale, you are charged with energy. When you exhale, you rid your body of tensions; relax. Don't think. Obey your instinct. ~ Isabelle Allande|City of The Beast

HAVE COURAGE AND BE GRATEFUL, ALWAYS... ^__^.

Sunday, August 20, 2017

Souvenirs



August 7, 2017. 7:35P.M. Monday. I just checked my ‘Treasure Box’ of Ian and Daisy. I got some dried daisies (my favorite) from my first ever bouquet of flowers. I got souvenirs from our trips - ref magnets, a dvd for our scuba diving videos/photos, parasailing photo, and the rosary bracelet he gave me.

I think all I ever wanted was for August to come before clearing what has been left. I am no longer angry or have any bitter feelings. But definitely I am still in the process of moving on. I need to respect myself in coping up with the pain and changes. I don’t want to rush myself - I shouldn’t. I need to take great care every bits of myself. Time heals all wounds and time is what I will gift myself with. Sometimes, I felt being back to square one, but each time is better than the previous, which makes me feel grateful and proud of myself.

A couple of weeks after our break-up email convo, I’ve thrown away the bear he got me. It came along with the bouquet of daisy flowers he surprised me with for my 29th Birthday last December 2015. Poor beautiful little native basket which I wanted to keep as a flower holder (or whatever), I threw away. The beach hat (similar to his) that he got me when we were in Boracay had to go too. Well, I wrapped them up neatly and really wished somebody will find them and be happy to find them. All our naughty stuffs are gone as well. Another couple of weeks later, I mailed back to him the pocket wifi I borrowed and the Bluetooth headset he gave me during our last trip. I was glad he got them, safe and sound. I really didn’t want to end up smashing them at that time. They were his in the first place.

I’m never really into materials things. I just wanted the bible and shared moments. But I was as equally grateful with the few extras I got. They became my treasures. But now, they are just mere things I posses. I can’t even call them mine. Memories, on the other hand, are the hardest to deal with. I really don’t know how long until I am fully moved on but one day I know I will. Goodbye my little treasures. Just go in peace.
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