A Promise (Watch)

A couple of months ago I bought a bracelet with "love and be loved" pendant to remind myself that despite pains, I must remain faithful to Him, the One who is the source of all great things. Therefore, LOVE anyway. ❤️

August 8, 2017. 9:20 P.M. Yes. This wrist watch has survived. Ian asked me what I wanted as a gift for Christmas and my Birthday. I didn’t want anything but to stay in Batangas with him in a hotel for a night or 2, just like last year. Perhaps, the clarity to the status of our relationship will mean more than any gifts his money can buy or spend on. I wished to start another year with a better sense of openness between the two of us. I waited. I got a ‘’No’’. ‘’It’s okay’’, I said and planned to spend my birthday at work but he later personally suggested that we should be together since I didn’t want anything. It was my 30th Birthday, afterall. And so we checked in a hotel (not in Batangas) and just enjoyed each other’s presence. It was Christmas Season, a season of love, and I just can’t be hard on him or on me.

New Year came and he insisted he wanted to give me something I want which I can wear and he can see on me. So I decided, after several “No. Thank you’s”, that I wanted a wrist watch just like his so we will have something in common. He said ‘’okay’’, bought it before our last trip in February and later made me promise that whatever happens to us, I will never return it to him and still take care of it. Here’s the Lesson: Never receive a gift with a condition. No matter what. Even if it has already been paid. Even if I have personally chosen it.  And even if I adored it because it was the only thing we have in common. Couple Goals, anyone? LOL I shouldn’t have accepted it but I was ecstatic anyway.

I couldn’t break my promise. It’s my honor. To keep it safe and away from a raging beast, I kept it hidden ‘til last June 10 when I started mountain climbing. I felt bad for the watch sitting in the dark defeating its purpose. But I thought, if I was going to wear it, I must accept the fact that the image and thought of Ian will come with it. Well, I couldn't decide until the last minute before I left my apartment. I just threw up the white towel (in my imagination, of course) and braved myself. "You know what Daisy. Just get on with it!", I said out loud. I was already feeling better then, anyway. No more tears. None on the road. None on the trail. But I must admit that there were little moments of sadness whenever I glanced at it. However, it made me smile too because I knew in my heart I can keep my promise. Fulfill a promise, even if others cannot. Besides, I chose that beautiful watch myself! Since then, I made a decision that whenever I climb I will wear it. I also make use of the backpack he got me for my 29th Birthday and water bladder for our Kalanggaman Island trip. I was really gonna sell/give them away. I even bought a new travel backpack last April for my hometown vacation. The three bad-ass have survived! I use them without any malice now. I even sent Ian a photo of them, thanking him for them. Frankly, it was difficult to look at them as just mere things I possess. But I have learned to. For my own sake. I actually wanted to pay for them but it was my pride talking. In time, I will truly be proud to say they are mine.

Soon, I must delete all our digital photos too after posting a few here. Cheers, blogger. And thank you for always being around. xoxo