I've been staying a lot at Ms. Anne's lately for her to have a company in her house while her kids are busy somewhere, her fiancee is away and me of course finding ways to utilize my spare time. I told her about what I wanted - going to Doha with my brother there and/or taking further education I wanted, and asked her for some helpful ideas which she generously gave me. She has explored her horizon and broaden her network from acquiring further educations (master and doctor of education, and researches and books completions) and from working a lot (as a teacher, dean, instructor, et cetera), yet she remained really humble, kind and funny. Furthermore, she is fun of me unbelievably. LOL
Well, every now and then, she would popped a question about my boyfriend or my lovelife. It has been a while since I told her it has ended and I did not speak anything else aside from ''it's complicated and i'd rather let it go to make things simple. Shit happens you know.'' , then she would just laugh and respect me for keeping privacy. Lastnight, I told her about it all and as I expected she is quite a listener - compassionate and objective. It's nice to hear words from someone elder, not because they are always right, but because they have more experiences in life from making wrong, right and risky decisions.
I told her, I wont close door for us coz I did love him, I still do love him, I doubt that will change a thing for a long time, I am not upset, I just can't be upset, and coz maybe I knew what I was in. To look for the positive side in every situation is what always keeps me going, though I also expect worsts as my guides to be better and to be cautious. To me, my relationship was like ''I wont care if other things would fall as long as I have keep it.'' That one thing I kept and was proud to have has failed. It was truly painful and still is, but it is for the best for him and for me. Besides, if we are really for each other then one or the other will find a way, and/or time and chances will give way for us. For now, I'm gonna make most of my time to upgrade myself in many ways and I know he will do the same for himself. I'm hopeful for the better. Later on, we will both benefit from our efforts, in our own separate lives.
Moreover, after a chat and a few emails, I have not heared from him again. Stopping just means something big which should be clearly undertood. It was harmless but I initiated which I know was not wise at all even if he was nice with his replies. I did ruin the silence in the holy space between us. What a bummer! Honestly, I like to laugh at it - at myself in fact. I'd just say it was just one of those days! Hahaha So who says - words must be marked? Ops, I did! And I'm guilty! I'm sorry bloggers I owe you one with that. Well kidding aside, I am glad he does more better things and stays more focused. If a man exerts effort, appreciate it, otherwise, let go. It is maybe the state of a woman that develops beauty in the life of a relationship but it is the man's that determines its life's span. Maybe I am a good thing as he said, a thought which I am glad to have been a part of his life, but still I am not a good enough thing. I am not sure what tomorow will bring but I'm gonna try fill what I think I need to fill myself.
We dont need to create complications to make life interesting. All we need is to engage into something we want to do and accomplish, and believe in ourselves. We can never know how far we can go and how well we can do. And always keep in mind, we are incharge of ourselves, for our choices and fruits they bare. They will just surprise us. Keep the fire burning coz life is what we make it.
So long!
Well, every now and then, she would popped a question about my boyfriend or my lovelife. It has been a while since I told her it has ended and I did not speak anything else aside from ''it's complicated and i'd rather let it go to make things simple. Shit happens you know.'' , then she would just laugh and respect me for keeping privacy. Lastnight, I told her about it all and as I expected she is quite a listener - compassionate and objective. It's nice to hear words from someone elder, not because they are always right, but because they have more experiences in life from making wrong, right and risky decisions.
I told her, I wont close door for us coz I did love him, I still do love him, I doubt that will change a thing for a long time, I am not upset, I just can't be upset, and coz maybe I knew what I was in. To look for the positive side in every situation is what always keeps me going, though I also expect worsts as my guides to be better and to be cautious. To me, my relationship was like ''I wont care if other things would fall as long as I have keep it.'' That one thing I kept and was proud to have has failed. It was truly painful and still is, but it is for the best for him and for me. Besides, if we are really for each other then one or the other will find a way, and/or time and chances will give way for us. For now, I'm gonna make most of my time to upgrade myself in many ways and I know he will do the same for himself. I'm hopeful for the better. Later on, we will both benefit from our efforts, in our own separate lives.
Moreover, after a chat and a few emails, I have not heared from him again. Stopping just means something big which should be clearly undertood. It was harmless but I initiated which I know was not wise at all even if he was nice with his replies. I did ruin the silence in the holy space between us. What a bummer! Honestly, I like to laugh at it - at myself in fact. I'd just say it was just one of those days! Hahaha So who says - words must be marked? Ops, I did! And I'm guilty! I'm sorry bloggers I owe you one with that. Well kidding aside, I am glad he does more better things and stays more focused. If a man exerts effort, appreciate it, otherwise, let go. It is maybe the state of a woman that develops beauty in the life of a relationship but it is the man's that determines its life's span. Maybe I am a good thing as he said, a thought which I am glad to have been a part of his life, but still I am not a good enough thing. I am not sure what tomorow will bring but I'm gonna try fill what I think I need to fill myself.
We dont need to create complications to make life interesting. All we need is to engage into something we want to do and accomplish, and believe in ourselves. We can never know how far we can go and how well we can do. And always keep in mind, we are incharge of ourselves, for our choices and fruits they bare. They will just surprise us. Keep the fire burning coz life is what we make it.
So long!
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