Our background and circumstances may influence who we are, but we are responsible for who we become. We may screw up making choices but life is not about it, it is what steps we take to rectify them.

A NOTE TO SELF: Be calm. Seek your center, that's where your strength is. Breathe. When you inhale, you are charged with energy. When you exhale, you rid your body of tensions; relax. Don't think. Obey your instinct. ~ Isabelle Allande|City of The Beast

HAVE COURAGE AND BE GRATEFUL, ALWAYS... ^__^.

Friday, January 17, 2014

Killing Braincells

January 17, 2014. Friday. 12:54 A.M. I cannot sleep. Ahhhh! Damn’it, Dwin! You are stuck in my head and I couldn’t get rid of you. It’s not that I don’t want to, I just couldn’t. The world seems to be against me tonight. Oh God, it’s really killing me. It’s killing my braincells! This feels crueller than moving on from my ex!!! Sh*t!!! I don’t know why this is happening to me. Oh my… I’m serious. I really need some divine intervention right now. I trust my guts and I will always do but… this??? Why the hell Aldwin came into my life in the first place. Jeez!!! And then, check out after a while. What the hell was that for? Are u kidding me? It doesn’t just make sense to me. C’mon, help me out here, I’m running out of wit. Blogger, answer me, will you!?
 
Emmm… maybe I am upset coz I couldn’t find any reason to be upset about and that’s upsetting me?! I am talking nonsense now. I want him to stay around, yes, but I understood why he shouldn’t. Maybe I am tired of understanding? I don’t think so. What’s killing me is that I couldn’t find a concrete reason why I had to know him? I don’t know him well enough even. Why I had to meet him? I just met him twice, that’s all. Maybe fate destined us to meet so I will feel how it’s like to hold hands? To experience holding hands with someone? That’s just the stupidest reason I ever heard! Or maybe to somehow touch him by my caring words and wisdom? Hahaha That’s awful! I don’t think I have that so much effect LOL Or maybe I am a control freak? And it’s frustrating me not getting what I want? Well he’s not a thing to possess, so no, I don’t really think so. Besides I already emailed him and he did reply to say adios. Maybe I expected otherwise? No. I knew he won’t be staying and from the very beginning I was prepared for this possible ending. So, why I am whining then? I don’t know Daisy, I don’t know, that’s why I am here harassing blogger!LOL well I have prayed after he replied, that God please forbid him to contact me ever again if we are not for each other. It will save us both pains. But why I’m still hoping to hear from him? I think I’m going to have a brain-damage from thinking about it all. Maybe some things just happen for no reason at all. Why I even bother for this to matter? Go away please… I’m begging you… let me sleep… let me rest… Sigh. Errrrr EEEnough!!! I’m just gonna message him on his birthday hahaha stupidity! :-P
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