During a seminar, a woman asked, ‘’ How do I know if I am
with the right person?’’
The author then notice that there was a
large man sitting next to her so he said, ‘’It depends. Is that your
partner?’’. In all seriousness, she answered ‘’How do you know?’’
‘’ Let me answer this question because the
chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind.’’ Replied the author.
Here’s the answer.
Every relationship has a cycle…in the
beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want
their touch and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn’t hard. In
fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have
to DO anything. That’s why it’s called ‘’falling’’ in love.
People in love sometimes say, ‘’I was swept
off my feet. ‘’Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing
there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.
Falling in love is a passive and
spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the
euphoria of love fades. It’ a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.
Slowly but surely, phone calls become a
bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens),
and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The
symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic
difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or
even angry subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your partner
might start asking, ‘’Am I with the right person?’’ and as you reflect on the
euphoria of the love you ones had, you may begin to desire that experience with
someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.
The key to succeeding in a relationship is
not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found.
People blame their partners for their
happiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in
all shapes and sizes.
Infidelity is the most common. But
sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive
substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your
relationship. It lies within it.
I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in
love with someone else. You could. And temporarily you’d feel better. But you’d
be in the same situation a few years later.
Because (listen carefully to this):
The key to succeeding in a Relationship is
not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the Person you found.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or
spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes
time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to
know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.
Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific
things you can do (with or without you partner), Just as there are physical
laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships.
If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.
Love is therefore a ‘’decision’’. Not just a
feeling.
Remember this always: God determines who
walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you
let stay, and who you refuse to let GO…!!!
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