An Empty Canvas

February 1, 2013. Friday. 11 PM. We had our annual ‘’Kampai’’ or ‘’Cheers’’right after work today. We share to update everyone about our family, work, personal life, or anything we’d like to open up over food and wines. So then one by one stories unfolded. A few were fun, some were emotional, others spoke in general, and all stories have something to be inspired about. Lovelife, as always, is the most interesting topic, regardless of status- single and staying single, single and dating, single with partner, engaged, married, complicated, brokenhearted, annulled, whatever. It often portrays ones social stability. At work, it is an undying hot topic no matter what the condition ones’ lovelife is. I, personally, was one of those who spoke in general. My personal life has been kept considerably distant from my work and I intend to keep it that way. When I first came in the company, I shared some details, basic ones. They know my family coz that’s how it should be, especially for security reasons. But as to daily basis, no I never shared. Lovelife, yes I said I have a boyfriend, for 3 years, 4 years older than me. And over the years, details were updated but never did I say he was a foreigner, ‘coz I knew in general, I’d be thought as a millionaire, like those ‘’money and sex’’ white/asian couple. I could cure their thoughts but first and foremost, I am not obliged to feed them so many details. Well, money is very tight at both ends though the hot thing is fun. And I don’t really exist in the side of the world where he lives in. There was too much secrecy and privacy at his end. Well, to content their mind, I said he and his family recently migrated to Europe and that he is a teacher there. I’m in a long distance relationship. For tonight, I said ‘’My lovelife is colorful. It’s still with distance, but its fine.’’ I really meant it in a lot of ways. I meant the colors, lots of colors – all colors anyone can find. There was a lot in it which represents every color. But it’s not said in a past tense and its current color I did not mention. If I was to, I would have said, all white, a base color covering all the rest of colors there ever was. An empty canvas.