My Luxury

The rain continuously pours since last night. It is steady, barely slows down and seems mean for no interruption. It’s Sunday, late in the afternoon and I am forced to remain inside. Without the rain, I can sure find myself outside, to see whatever there is to see. But right now I just do whatever there is to do here. I don’t mind, I love the sound of the rain pouring. However, I can imagine the water keeps swelling and is expected to be by the doorstep any time soon, hopefully not. On the other hand, I feel I dislocated my shoulder joints or perhaps broke a piece of bone on my chest from staying for hours on my bed flipping myself from this side to the other, reading book from chapter to chapter.  I get too hooked and I am very much in comfort.

I am enjoying a luxury weekend, I call it. In fact, it is quite a kind of freedom which until now I am still absorbing but so far, so good.  With nothing and no one to mind other than myself, I can’t worry a thing. I can be lazy or energetic as much as it pleases me. Set my own pace as to how and when to do what I plan, what I want and what I love. My only concern is me. I don’t even have to think as much ‘coz myself comes in handy. I believe so. I can’t help to express my delight through cheeky smiles, for no reason can anyone identify. I do it all the time whenever that exact reality crosses by mind. For years, my mind is filled with thoughts need to organize, rethink, consider, whatever. I guess I take too much pride of what I can do, of what I can handle, anything. I have lots to learn and I am confident I am learning.

I owe this luxury to a lot of chances I have given and held. They made me strong. Nothing surprised me but I am pleased. In every situation, I find myself difficult to surprise at all, though easy to please when something good comes up, even slightest. I still believe it’s a matter of finding a silver lining, or creating one when there’s none.

An identical luxury is in my blog, where I unload my thoughts and feelings. I can afford it. I don’t care who gets to read them, who stays here and who doesn’t. With all due respect, this is my blog, so stay or go away. I often thought it is nonsense to be upset, that I’d rather be pity. And I learned sometimes it is rather necessary. But hell, I don’t hate anyone. It is the least I can do if I can’t help, I’d rather be kind. Life is too short to despise people who simply can’t help what they’ve done. So bless their souls. ^__^