Get Away Goodbye

Bangkok, here I come!
A few days to go and I will be seeing you.
I am more nervous than my usual
I am more anxious than excited
I feared something wont go just fine.
''It's my first ever abroad!'', I keep telling myself
But I know it's just my lame excuses
As I always believe whatever I do, wherever I go,
Whatever circumstances I'll be in, I'll get thru.
With my little trouble at the airport,
I wished I did not get thru...
Or maybe, at the last minute, I just backed out,
But I was taking my pride, setting myself as a model,
Like I always do..., 'damn't, I can be stubborn, can't I?

I hurt myself from wanting to prove myself wrong
I am disappointed that I've been always right...
I lost my desire a long time ago, but...(sigh)
I burnout to be with him now and there's no way I can help it
I don't want to help, not anymore...and it saddens me
I find him empty wondering to somewhere else
I feel pity for him and the feeling is killing me
I see his child in his eyes and I just can't be selfish
I am truly sorry it has to be me, looking thru them..
Believe me, I am truly sorry to myself too
For always being there, I made him weak
I just cant bear to see him as a dysfunctional father
I must leave, I've done more than enough anyway..

See, we came for fun but at times I wanted to grab my suitcase,
Fly back home without a word, and just disappear like forever
But I am comforted by the fact that I am in control of myself
That I still found myself...sane...thank God
To those great times I can not deny, I may not hold them for too long
Çoz they are nothing compared to those dull and tiresome times.
So along with our Bangkok goodbye is our each other's goodbye.
Such an extremely hurtful goodbye,
But goodbye, my love, goodbye.