Home For A Second

February 11, 2014. Tuesday. 9.46 A.M. Off work this morning to see my sister and do more of my report. My sister is having a 3-day city tour, from the south all the way up here to the north, organized by the university. It’s her 3^rd year in college. Anyway, it’s always a blessing I stay in this monumental walled city within the big city. I love this place aside from the sometimes-irritating cracks on the walls at the hallway of this house where insects hide and which the landlady ignored LOL Moving on, my sister and 46 others are flying back home tomorrow morning and I am glad I got to see her even for a second. This place, being historical, just can’t be off the list, so as they stop by here, I went to give my sister a mini-treasure-bag to dig out during her last day of trip. I filled it with teeny-weeny cups of fruity yogurts, fun packs of salted and paprika pumpkin seeds, cereal bars in different flavour, a bottle of pocari sweat, and vitamins (she forgot to bring one). I’ve been checking her out since Sunday coz it’s her first long educational/fun tour away from home. And though she is having a blast, the tour is getting her. Poor little sister, tired and hungry – feeling exhausted, with their tight itinerary. They leave early from the hotel and return around 11PM each night. When she saw me approaching earlier, she was half running towards me, with all smiles and arms open wide ready to hug me. I just love her and she is as delighted as me to see each other. I knew, for a second she felt an enormous relief and I am as always happy to be there. And quickly, I told her to go with the group and just enjoy. Have fun little sis! I’ll see you more in two months! ^__^.

Chances: Its Reasons

February 8, 2014. Saturday. 11:13 P.M. Classes were dismissed early like the first days in the previous terms. But unlike those terms, I hanged around with Marlon in the campus. He was my classmate/groupmate last term and been visible in my sight since then. He constantly flirted me but in a subtle way. Today, I gave him a chance to stay close outside the classroom. There were some complications with class schedules so we went to sort it out, then to have lunch and to secure materials for our presentation next meeting, just us two. At the end of the day, he has to return to his original schedule for Business Policy (weeknight) and I will be presenting alone by next meeting then. I can handle the presentation alone but just when I decided to give him a chance and exerted effort into it, there is some cosmic interference. Alright Marlon, that's just it - I'm sorry. He is 1 term ahead of me and I specifically enrolled that subject(supposedly for the next term) so we will be classmates again but then again, I'm sorry. Chances has its reasons. We are better off as friends/professionals/networks.

We talked anything under the sun today and at some points my friends/classmates called him ‘’boyfriend’’, like ‘’hey daisy, your boyfriend came in looking for you.’’ I thought that sounds… charming hahaha LOL Well we talked about lovelife too and I learned he likes someone at work but feels insecure about himself. After two years of hanging out with her, she resigned at work and unfriended him since then (last year). He left her hanging, she said. When he said he loves her, it was too late to recover at that moment ‘coz by then she turned him down. During their friendship he was still trying to move on from his past relationship and he was uncertain being into one again. He admitted being a fool to let his past got into his present. Now he is unsure if he can restore the connection they had. But I told him, if he really wants to win her back, then do something before it’s really too late. Based on current facts he told me, I believe he still has a chance so I gave him some advices on how to win her back from a woman’s point of view.

 

Its funny ‘coz I also learned today that he is 31. My ex, Steve and Dwin, too. I wonder what is with 31 hahaha They are all turning 32 this year anyway. Nuts!!! Well my ex is a risktaker type and hormonal (lol).  I can always predict he wont hold on to his words ‘coz he constantly changes his mind. Steve is a conservative type. He is mature and expressive kind of guy. I could just simply adore him. Dwin, I believe is a bit of both. He is protective but can be really stubborn. Marlon admitted he is still a bit heartbroken from his past 1-year relationship three years ago and I was surprised. I guess it really is true that men couldn’t move on as fast as women do. Well, in general, and maybe because my past relationship was just totally different? Because I got brokenhearted a few times during it and somehow moving on from it became a habit?LOL I admit, at the very end, I still got really broken.

 

Anyway, again, chances has its reasons. When you have done your part and chances wont let it happen, then it is either the timing is not right or things are just not meant to happen. Learn from it instead ‘coz I am sure at some point/s in between, you’ve missed something. It makes me wonder what Dwin thought of me. I am curious ‘coz I have not asked him. But I know myself better than anyone else anyway. A part of me still hopes that Dwin would come up to me and ask me out again one of these days hahaha I am so silly!!!  You see, blogger, women are the relationship standards. All we can do is hint or tell men we like them and if they don’t like us back, well… its over. A man who likes a woman pursues her and not the other way around. Men are pursuer by nature so let their instinct do the job. And besides, I don’t play around as a woman so if I like someone I would make sure I am sending a signal he is safe to butt in.

 

‘’Alright, Daisy, get back to your books, you lazyhead!’’LOL Aye, Aye! ^__^.

Worst Drug (poem)

For a second I’m critically helpless
I was certain it was your face

My lungs suddenly grasp my heart

I couldn’t just breathe.

When I recovered I turned wicked

My veins are like venomous serpents

They spare my body to strike their target

And I’m chanting a spell like a crazy bitch.

The idea makes me disgust myself

So I gaze around at everyone’s faces

One time I saw your familiar eyebrow

The other was your sky-bright smile.

Ah! You are such a greedy leech

Sucking my thoughts to your guts

Leaving me nothing but a lovely mark

Now, I’m hunger for your next slimy touch.

A sigh as I rest my chin on my palm

Hoping to stop myself from hallucinating

Gosh, you are the worst drug ever formulated

And I’m terrified with your side effects.

 

~ Dizzy ~

 

Seventh Heaven

 

I am glad to spend quality time with friends, my bigbro and his wife, and Remy, especially. My bigbro and his wife are going back to our hometown this year, for good. Remy is leaving so I'm gonna miss going with her on trips but it's totally fine. Soon, we will still be able to hangout together. I always love moments like these coz they are precious. They can never be bought. 'Til next time Ladies!!! Oh and Bigbro too!!! ^__^.

Unusual Day

February 2, 2014. Sunday. 7:30 P.M. Somewhere in Robinsons. Gym-check! Then thought to hangout here in my favourite spot to read and write. The last time I was here was for my birthday. It was Christmas all over and today it Chinese new year. I like it ‘coz I like celebrating ‘’whatever’’ in my own little and simple way. Now, I am having Buko fruit salad shake for this unusual day. ^__^.

 

It has been two months since I started going to the gym and for the first time I totally missed to bring my workout bra. I must have placed it on my bed and forgot to pick it up. Well, I ended up using my casual one which is now soaked in sweat and I couldn’t just wear it. I haven’t been out in the public without bra since I was in first year high school! In this country, it’s unusual for a woman to be walking around with their breasts almost bear. So I’m wearing an extra confidence instead. And for the first time, at this very moment, I am glad mine are not that big! Hahaha Well, if anyone notices (someone already did), at least I don’t fidget.

 

It’s rare for anyone to try approach me because I look serious, if not snobbish, when I don’t smile. That is what everyone says. So only those who know me have the guts to interrupt my peacefulness. And those who are not intimidated by my looks. Today, at the gym, someone approached me for the first time. She is Linda, a 40-year old new member, who is quite talkative but I didn’t find her personality to be irritating. She was making friends with me so we chatted while waiting for the next group exercise, Zumba. She is married and has three grown up kids, 2 boys and 1 girl. And the conversation, like any other, never missed the ‘’lovelife’’ part, so it goes something like this…

 

 

Linda: And you? Are you married?

 

Me: No. Not yet, at least.

 

Linda: Well, a lovely lady like you I’m sure you have a boyfriend.

 

Me: Well, yes and I broke up with him. I saw no future. I was the man in the relationship. I HAD to be the man. LOL

 

Linda: Good decision. Any suitor?

 

Me: Nope. Men upon seeing me, often if not always, assume I have a boyfriend who is crazy to let me go. So no one dares. I haven’t meet the one who is brave enough to man himself to me. LOL

 

Linda: (Laughing) He’ll come at the right time. I think you are wise but when you are in a relationship, just remember, to never stop looking after yourself ‘coz some men will forget your worth later. So stand your ground.

 

Me: Thanks. I will remember that. I’d rather be alone if I feel worthless anyway.

 

 

Then she talked about her relationships, past and present. Her story is quite something and I like the fact that she is sharing them. I really appreciate people who I meet in the highway of my life. They always have something to bring, no matter how small it may seem. Some stay. Some are passing by. They either taught my mind or touched my heart. I hope I have imparted something for them too. Something that is good to remember about.

 

Now, I’m cold and in need of a bra haha The shake is not helping my situation LOL Well, ‘til next unusual day, blogger! ^__^.

 

Holding Hands (poem)

Hand in hand amidst the crowd

I feel like walking on the clouds

With our hearts beating in harmony

Our fingers tangle gracefully.

Your palm perfectly fitted mine

Specially moulded just for me and you

You know, it feels so natural and grand

When we are holding hands.

 

It giggles my heart when we are close

Sitting side by side or nose to nose

Your gentle squeezes make me warm

And pulling me closer is my favourite part

When you poke my underarm

You have this silly yet captivating smile

And guess what, our arms are bestfriends

When we are holding hands.

 

I admire it whenever we separate

You then reach out and hold my hand

I couldn’t feel alone or abandoned

With this sweet subtle connection.

I wouldn’t want this moment to end

You and me and our palms kissing

Every minute is priceless, hon

When we are holding hands!

 

~ Dizzy ~

Inspired by her date ^__^,  Just in time for valentine ^__^.

 

 

 

 

Brace Up

February 1, 2014. Saturday. 12:40 P.M. A holiday yesterday. Classes are cancelled today. Seriously? Just when I’m ready to kick some butts! When I got to school this morning and learned classes will officially start next Saturday, I just stayed there in the classroom til noon, alone, while a few of my classmates came and left. I busied myself going through the company’s financial statements again and again, internalizing each account. On Monday, turnover will start. I need to brace myself. Tomorrow is my last day to lay-low. I don’t have plans yet ‘coz I was expecting to get started when class requirements are supposedly given today. I’ll probably stick my head on the bookkeeping book which I have been sleeping with these past few days. It was in preparation for possible job interviews but it looks like I’m gonna be stuck in the same company for a while longer. I think this is meant to happen coz despite a very short notice, I got the position. I feel good about this idea. And I want to hold the accounts too coz I might pursue CMA (Certified Management Accountant) later, in favour to my bachelor’s degree. They have specific work experience requirements for that and I am eager to have them!

 

Walking back home earlier, every step says the same phrase, ‘’This is it!’’, ‘’This is it!’’, ‘’This is it!’’. It is stuck in my head and I like it. For now, I want to finish a couple of poems I drafted last week. I got too busy and I’m glad to have ample time today ‘til tomorrow to chillax. Must make the most out of it. Then, roll up the sleeves… *drumroll*… and let’s get it on!!! Ops, gym, gym, gym too, to restrain the stress hormones! Haha ^__^

Give It A Smooch

January 31, 2014. Friday. 10 A.M. It’s Chinese New Year, Gung xi fat cai, blogger! No work today, YEEPEEY!!! ^__^. I have been really busy since last week but it keeps my adrenaline flowing so I’m fine with it. Today, I would like to take a moment to chillax with you blogger. Let’s have a chitchat lol

 

I had fun last weekend during the trip, which will be in my next post. Seven of us went and we are the lucky seven, indeed! Long travel unwinds me. I like being on the road, looking out through the window, heading nothing but forward, to stretch my eye’s view, to lengthen my perspective, to simply go along with the road. Well, generally speaking, it always feels good to be away even for a while! LOL

 

This week, it’s lethal at work but pressure makes me feel human, thus it feels good. During the trip, Remy asked me, ‘’Why not asked Rhea for you to hold my position?’’. I had been accelerating on my jobhunt this month with the help of a few friends, including her and her friend. I wanted to get a new job before June, just in time for my last trimester in school. I want it to happen before I’m done with my MBA. And since Remy is resigning and soon be in Australia with her family, she’s with me on my quest while she’s still here. I’m gonna miss her! Sigh. But we both encourage our future so… ‘’Cheers, my dear sistah!’’ Anyway, I had the interest of asking our accounting manager to be the company’s bookkeeper instead of a new hired, but I didn’t want to spell it out first ‘coz for me it must come as an offer. I mean, there’s only 4 of us is the department and she knew exactly how I and others work so why not utilize the potential (if there is) of the existing ones first. I really feel stagnant there and dead-serious to volt out. The lack of benefits is making it even worst. Last Wednesday, upon the bookkeeper’s suggestion, our manager took it into consideration and I spoke myself to her too. And yesterday, she told me she’s giving me Remy’s position. ‘’God, thank you for the chance. I can gain higher experience just where I am.’’ ^__^. Well I’m a bit nervous coz I don’t want to disappoint them. They are more than just my colleagues. But I believe a determined soul can learn everything so I will be fine. Although, my current position is just a part of Remy’s, I have been practiced in school too anyway. And now that the chance is right in front of me, I must embrace it and give it a smooch ^__^. ‘’Ah! Daisy, show me what you got!’’ I couldn’t fill Remy’s boots but I will do my best. Sometimes, a fear of disappointing anyone is a good motivator hahaha lol

 

‘’Okay Daisy, tomorrow you are back in school, and as usual it’s every Saturday from 8AM to 6:30PM. Don’t forget to read-and-read and learn-and-learn. Then, you are turning over your position to Abie, while Remy is turning over hers to you. You have to be sharp! Stay Sharp! And don’t forget to visit the gym a few times a week!’’

 

Sh*t!!! That’s all? Hahaha’’  Fingers crossed ^__^.

Unresolved

January 27, 2014. Monday.8:58 P.M. January has been an emotional month for me and as this month is ending, I demand for any unresolved arguments in my internals to ease away along with it. The Contemplation is over... The unexpected encounter with Dwin made me go back in time. I revisited but never reawakened the previous emotional torment long dispersed in the outerspace. I ones again replayed before my eyes those special moments, the ordinary ones, the gloomy ones, which all taught me well. At some points, the flashbacks went frenzy and stirred me a little bit when I let them. But then again, they are nothing but stellar objects so I am fine with them up there, illuminating my sky, decorating my world. However, Dwin became a permanent resident in my brain. There was a strong and unexplained force pulling me to him, to think about and long for. I instantly became fond of him. Sadly, it had to stop especially the good friendship I found in him. It’s his birthday tomorrow, exactly a month after mine. It’s not at all hard to remember, is it? Well I sent him an email birthday greeting and said my last goodbye too. I think a month of really taking time to go through this whole emotional experience is enough for me to say, ‘’it’s time to stop’’. I don't expect him to reply coz we have talked already but if he ever contact me again, then it’s good. I wish at some point in the future, our paths will cross again, and would be nice to see him talking with his bright-and-model-like smile without any trace of pain on his face. Please, help him blogger, like how you have helped me. Help him speak his mind ‘til he is left with nothing but satisfaction.