A Good Diversion

June 26, 2013. Wednesday. 11 P.M. Alright I’m talking! ^__^. These past days I’ve been talking to Steve, at least while I’m at the office, working. And I keep my weekends and other spare time for studies and myself. I’m still in the process of ‘’trying’’ to manage everything with a little inspiration in it. Inspiration in a sense that I have someone to get cheeky with and who enjoys it other than the usual friends and family. Steve makes a good diversion from many things I have to focus for my studies and work, my life in general. The good thing is he comes in handy. He’s not stressful to be around and he’s an accountant so I can ask him anything I want related to my studies! I can tell that he’s a caring guy and there’s a chance I’d fall for him with my level of maturity and his. He believes in marriage and he wants to get married, a lasting one – not a divorce candidate. I am happy about it coz I want to get married one day with the one I’d love for the rest of my life. It sounds cheesy but I do really believe in true love. One thing I am concern about is, he’s afraid of having kid/s. I understand him from his point of view but I love kid/s and if I’d fall for him and he won’t change his mind about it, I’d be really sad. Looking back to my previous relationship, it’s the other way around – my ex never like marriage and there was no chance we’d ever get married; and he often tried to persuade me into having his child even when we were still both students. When he got what he wished for from other woman, and I joked of being pregnant from missing a day to take my contraceptive pill, he told me not to give him a problem!!! Hahaha no marriage plus no kids – just wonderful! What a powerful punch in my heart (-__-)

 

Now, I am not sure if I’d keep my friendship with Steve. He is a nice guy, responsible and not hard to love, but I don’t want to end up comprising one of the things that matter to me most. I already did ones and I don’t want a repeat. It’s stupidity to place oneself in the same compromising situation. I am just praying that if that happens, it’ll happen with the right one – someone I can afford my weaknesses.

 

It’s very early for anything, but I hope Steve is who I assessed he is! ‘Coz to me, being with someone ranks higher than having any kids! ^__^.

Pressure

June 15, 2013. Saturday. 11 P.M. For the second Saturday of classes, the pressure is felt doubled. My three professors for this trimester are pretty much hyper, as to pushing us to aim high and nail high. For a moment, I can feel my braincells freezing, not sure which among all the requirements to start first, how to start it, how I’d meet them all. Or maybe I know exactly which one to start and what I need to do, but I think I need a moment to absorb everything first, to have a systematic processes for better output. Time is expensive throughout this term. Mistakes imply high cost of resources- physical, mental, emotional, financial.

 

The research/case writing class was dismissed late though it started on time. We were briefed. Then we grouped ourselves, brainstormed and came up with final 3 titles to defend in which the professor will approve 1 for us to research. Everyone is pressured, including me and my group. As we brainstormed, we literally stormed not only ideas but ourselves and others. My group is compose of 5, Hershey, Lorie, Levi, Kat and Me. Lorie and me, typically have the same wavelength, we do not entertain immature and nonsense things when pressure is around and keep focus on what’s at stake. Kat is acting self-centered and immature. Levi is opinionated but can keep his cool. Hershey ignites under pressure towards anyone or anything when hassled. Kat was pushy about her idea when everyone can not agree. To end it properly, I suggested we seek for the professor’s advice. The idea is not feasible, I relayed to them. Kat’s pride was hurt and she went summarizing what stresses her and became mute almost through out the brainstorming. Seconds before time is up, Hershey was writing our last title in a hurry and Kat said, ‘’you can do it, you are all grown ups’’. I let it pass, Lorie let it pass, Levi was by the other group and did not hear it, Hershey ignited and said ‘’Are you with us?” I left school with Lorie and Hershey ‘coz we shared the same route home. Hershey being upset and can’t get over Kat’s attitude, spoke to us. I laugh and she looked at me like a culprit as well, so I said to let go of it coz Kat was just being immature and it’s not worth adding our pressure. If Kat will be a problem, we will kick her out. Everyone is working and feels the same amount of pressure in school. Obviously, there’s no room for immaturity. It is strictly not welcomed. Besides, we are professionals.

U-Turn

June 8, 2013. Saturday. 10 P.M. I was back to school today but all of my 3 classes were dismissed early with a promise of a hell lot of researches. Well, graduate study is research study, what else would it be! Haha I don’t mind anyway, just give me the deadline dates and consider them met. I take pride meeting my deadlines.

 

This weekend will be my last weekend to veg out on my bed, reading a fiction book. I have not imagined how many books I have to read, words to digest and titles to defend. I disliked too much reading and it’s surprising it’s what I must live now. My life has really changed course and I am adapting. In many ways, I am making a U-turn back in High School, when all I had to do was to study, to fancy about my crush, to organize my stuffs, to daydream what I want to be and what I want to do. And now that I am 27, to work, to continuously earn, to have a life, to live. I haven’t thought much of these things for 8 years. I am probably have more intelligence now hahaha

To The Beach

I am sunburned! After the pool and slides is the beach at the Heritage Resort, 4 hours away. I traveled with my eldest brother John, his wife, Remy, her sister, her friend and her friend’s niece. And the travel was worth it.
 

 

Plus my Obras:

 

 

The place is nice and the seawater is amazing. We dipped and swam for hours. And I learned to float and swim comfortably. I surprised myself! Thank you bigbro for the very simple swimming tip yet extremely helpful. Now, I can’t wait to be the water again!

To The Slides

My fist ever zipline haha I am taking the video on my return, coz my adrenaline was kicking in on my first push!

 

 

My youngest brother and his gf on a high-speed slide. Next to them was me with my sister in law just watching coz she was too scared to try. However, I was able to convince her so she raced down the slide like a rocket with us 3! It was really fun and I am happy I rocketed twice. It was too fun not to repeat!

 

 

This one is with my 2^nd eldest brother. He told me after the slide, ‘’And I am deaf!’’ I am sorry about my scream brother! Hahaha I told him to be upfront before we took off but he wouldn’t and for all I know, he was screaming too! :-P

 

To all the slides guys!!! ^__^.

  

 

I had a really good time at the water park. I got to spend some time with my family outside. It was for my niece’s bday, who turned 1 year old and I was so happy she was all over me the moment she saw me! Tita Daisy loves you Loui ^__^.

Irish And Steve

July 7, 2012. Friday. 8 P.M. No man has interest me since I met Dean. I didn’t welcome suitors nor I flirted. I just don’t screw men all at ones. It’s never nice. Trends may change drastically from conservative to otherwise, but my principle will remain the same. I believe my best behalf does exist, who would tango with me throughout our lives. Now, it’s been a week since I registered to online dating and I’m ready for long conversations. I was hoping to meet someone just within the city but I’m open for long distance. There’s one guy from Pennsylvania who stands among many interests and messages I got. Steve seems cool and laidback, which I like most to a person. I’m naturally cheerful at heart so I’m easy to please. Whenever I look serious, I am rather concentrating or pissed off hahaha Anyway, that’s my impression of him. As we went on talking, he said he has Irish skin and I nearly backed off. The word ‘’Irish’’ startled me deep inside coz my ex is Irish, 100%!!! What am I, an Irish magnet???!!! Then I learned that his dad is Irish-welsh and his mom is Italian. I can’t help shaking my head when I think of my new acquaintance but I can’t turn my back on anyone just because he/she has something in common with my ex. But I hope that this guys is a keeper just in case I’d eventually fall for him. I like him but there’s so much I still want to know about him, like if he brushes his teeth religiously hahaha Help me out blogger ^__^ la lala lala…

Freedom Wall

June 6, 2013. Thursday. 11 P.M. I thought I’d have to update my records here. I’m back from my 2 consecutive short trips. Then, I was back to work last Tuesday. And then, I will be back to school on Saturday. I’m getting a feeling that I’m going to be restless for the rest of the year! But I’ll keep this ‘’freedom wall’’ updated whenever I can.

 

Lately, I didn’t feel the desire to write anything. Maybe because I was just too busy running around as I am trying to make most of my last week off from school. I was also busy laying down my options on the table and considering them. Like what I have decided, I will at any cost finish my MBA program. Then do part-time teaching to earn extra and find a new job! I’m not actually so sure how will that work out but I know I’ll figure it out in time. I believe so.

 

There are a lot of things I discovered about myself since I stopped thinking for my now-ex boyfriend and me. I took that relationship too seriously, in a way that I wasn’t willing to grow and explore on my own because I always want us both to do things together. I always had to pick him if I was to decide on two things. I didn’t mind what came along us. I had no second thoughts. I cheated on myself. Now that he has something to live for – his family, his son, I am left with one option, that is, to do what I should have done – to keep growing! I was closed to being a mother years ago but after I learned he has a child on the way, well, I know our lives will change in one way or another. Time will tell and surely it did. And I always thought she was also his girlfriend anyway hahaha Well now that he’s out of my picture, I can think of my life better –to discover myself to better me and unfold life itself before me. I’ve been feeling myself like a treasure box needed to be opened to overwhelm everyone including myself.